Would you like your teens to be taught by the underneath scum!

I quote:

I will make you a Hell to men.”

She took me back to the first ritual I had done for Her on the ground, charging a candle with my body.

She is the Queen of cunts and pain and blood.

This tattoo marks my dedication to Her. She will always have a piece of me. I am formally entering into her service now. She has awakened my thirst for blood, pain, fear, and power. She has the throaty laugh of a sated predator. I am her vampire.

In my current class, there are two. They are the most intelligent college freshmen I have in my small tribe, meaning they’re about 18 or 19. She is a fiery little thing with dark hair and eyes, a complete overachiever and a bit of a bitch. She has a vulnerable side, however, like when she stayed after class one night, near tears, to speak to me alone. Part of her does break, and I’ve seen it. He is a big farm boy from the midwest, blond, blue-eyed, and earnest. He wants to be a writer and blushes when he speaks to me. One day, while he was reading a passage aloud to the class, cheeks flushed, voice clear, an instinctual response pushed its way to the front of my brain.

He would be a perfect submissive.

I was horrified. Right then and there, I had to admit a hard truth to myself: these particular students trigger my inner sexual predator.

It goes without saying that I would never act on any of these feelings—ethically, I wouldn’t be capable of that, even if it wasn’t a sure fire way to lose my job. I love teaching and have a strong rapport with my students—I understand them, I push them to be their best, and I genuinely care about each of them. Nonetheless, this darker reaction is also a very real part of myself I have to own. When I confessed this to Tamyris and started describing the farm boy, she said my predator was coming through and triggering hers. It has been a running joke for a while that when I drink and let my guard down, I become a sexual predator towards all my friends. That’s actually a fairly accurate statement, which is why I have to watch how much I drink. Even strangers on the subway, if they have that certain something about them, can make me twitch and covertly stare, imagining all the horrible things I could do to them.

I know I’ve been wired this way for a reason, and that I’ll have to use it in my spiritual work. Part of my path involves seduction, of knowing how to get people to let their guard down and let me in. If I didn’t have an inner predator, that would be a lot harder. I know my Husband and both of my main teachers—Lilith and Loki—have predatory sides. All the same, it’s not something I like to confess about myself, which is probably why I’m being pushed to write about it here.